Monday, December 26, 2011

Flip Flop Christmas

It's raining, and has been all day.  That's OK...we need it here in Pensacola.  There is plenty of good food to keep us warm and in the house today.  Lots of left over Christmas turkey.  Precisely why turkey and dumplings was planned and prepared for dinner tonight.
I started putting the meal together this morning by stripping the turkey meat from the bones, then cooking the carcass sans meat, slowly to arrive at a condensed dark brown consomme.  By 3 p.m. it was perfect.  Next a mirapois of carrots, onion and celery were added, and finally, carefully rolled home made dumplings were dropped into the bubbling pot of goodness.  Now the turkey meat was introduced into the broth.  By 6 p.m. it was done.
That's when it happened.  My wife who has been 'under the weather' and napping most of the day said, "I feel like pizza."
You think a protest from me would be in order, but oh no.  I've been married too long for that.  'That dog don't hunt' is how it would be said where I come from.  "I'll go to Pizza Hut honey!"  There, I said it.  Simple, quick, albeit somewhat painful.  I mean the meal I prepared...the rain!  Hey, wait a minute.  If I go out to Pizza Hut I can wear my new Christmas flip flops!  There are flip flops, and then there are cool flip flops.
So out in the rain and the chill and the dark to Pizza Hut I go.  I started singing this to the tune of 'Over the River and Through the Woods to Grandmother's house we go.  There we go, I'm in the Christmas spirit once again.  When I arrived at Pizza Hut I ordered her favorite, 'Super Supreme pan pizza.'  That's when it happened for the second time in less than an hour.  "I'm sorry Sir, we are all out of pan pizza."
I didn't let 5 seconds pass, and then asked, "You do serve beer here don't you?"  After an affirmative nod from the pimple faced boy behind the counter I asked him to bring me 2 drafts and set them down next to me at the PacMan machine situated by the door.
Forty minutes and several quarters later I remembered  why I took up this holy mission to Pizza Hut in the first place.  I drained the last few swallows from my pilsner glass and immediately began formulating an excuse for coming home late without that pizza pie.
Luckily for me a McDonalds was en-route on my way back home, and surprisingly it still has McRib on the menu.  My wife and McRib go way back.  Picking up that pork patty would be my ticket to freedom!
I arrived home an hour later with no pizza.  The inquisition began.
"Where have you been?"  "You smell like pizza."  "Do I smell beer?"  It's funny how these statements always seem to run together without giving you time to even explain things.  After a few more direct all knowing indictments I took a deep breath and said, "Well you see...I know how much you love the McRib.  Unfortunately, McDonalds has a new pizza burger that just came out.  It's making it's debut tonight.  Such a line of people to buy one too.  It's crazy baby!  The whole place smells of pizza."
I'll be eating SPAM for the next few days.  Oh...I did tell you I got a new pair of flip flops for Christmas didn't I?

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